That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
