Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
