Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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