Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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