She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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