...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
