We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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