remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
