I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
