I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
