wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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