It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
