What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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