I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
