My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Please, let me fuck your mom
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
