I puked a lego.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
