he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize