quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
