so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
