If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
