21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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