in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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