Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
