are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
