I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
