ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
