So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
