your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
