I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
