you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
