All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I came so hard my ears popped.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
