i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Randomize
