Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
