You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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