question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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