I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
