yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
