We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
