Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
