The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
