i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
