I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
