thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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