chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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