anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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