"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
40s are totally the cure
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
