is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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