i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
she peed on how many people?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
