I want to stick my p in your. b.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
