i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize