she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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