Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
