Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
