When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
