Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
