And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i drank out of a bidet.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
