Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
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