GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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