On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just blew my weed a kiss
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
