Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
My bed smells like the plague
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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