Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
