It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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