Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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