I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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