Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
This is my gift to your gina
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
