No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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