Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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