My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
