Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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