She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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